


a sadness runs through him

by v1ewmonster



Category: Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound
Genre: Acceptance, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Drabble, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Heart-to-Heart, Internalized Acephobia, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, Nonbinary Character, Pansexual Character, Self-Acceptance, Self-Reflection, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24687364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v1ewmonster/pseuds/v1ewmonster
Summary: Sometimes, you struggle to accept parts of yourself. Sometimes, your girlfriend helps you with that.
Relationships: Ness/Paula Polestar
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	a sadness runs through him

**Author's Note:**

> local aro deep in shipping hell. more at 11  
> also tw/cw internalized aphobia and even transphobia, if the tags don't get that across

“You’re sure about this?” Ness asks Paula while he makes himself at home.There’s an air of uncertainty to his tone, and it makes Paula want to get to the bottom of it. 

“About what?” 

“Us,” Ness says. He looks to his feet and shuffles about. “It’s about us. Are you sure about this? I mean…” He points to himself. “I’m not exactly the most romantic person around.” 

Though it stings like a buzzing bee, there’s more to his words than Ness lets on. And it’s _more_ than his self deprecating jokes, that’s for sure. No matter how Ness puts it, Paula isn’t afraid to ask her new boyfriend what’s wrong.

“Something’s bothering you, isn't it?” 

That’s enough for Ness to perk up with a nod. Hesitant, at first, but he learns to ease himself in. “Yeah… I’m just wonderin’ if I’m enough for you.”

Paula laughs at his pitiful attempt of a lie. There’s more than what meets the eye, she knows this. And sooner or later, Ness is going to become trapped in a web of lies if this keeps up.

“You know you’re enough for me,” Paula says when she takes a step forward.. “Why else would I accept you with open arms?”

“Well-”

“So there’s something _else_ on your mind.” Paula finishes.

The look on Ness’ face says everything that even words can’t express. Paula nods in affirmation. “It’s okay, you can take your time.” 

“No,” Ness shakes his head, and for the first time, there’s a gleam of confidence in his eyes. “I’m ready.”

This catches Paula off guard. She gives him a once-over, prepares herself for the information about to be given. Ness averts his eyes, hands interlocked and legs crossed in attempt to prevent his body from shaking. 

He breathes in, then out. 

“You know how I… how I don’t really like kissin’ and-”

“That you’re asexual?” Paula finishes. “I know.”

Ness tries not to shake at that moment, but he feels the sensation rattle in his bones anyway. Even the _mere mention_ of his orientation makes him sick, akin to when he realized that his attraction or lack thereof had a name. It was a mix of relief and disgust, to be fair. Relief that he wasn’t alone, disgust at the fact that he was unable to _enjoy_ things like kissing and holding hands. Things that are considered _normal_ _._

“Isn’t it horrible that I don’t want things like that?” Ness tries to keep his tone peppy, but to no avail. “Shouldn’t it be an inconvenience to you? Cause _clearly,_ there’s somethin’ wrong with me if everyone around me wants those things and I don’t.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Ness,” Paula assures him. “A relationship isn’t all about kissing and cuddling. Sometimes being enamored by the other’s presence is all you need.” 

“You… have a point there,” Ness says, because she’s right. _Of course_ she’s right. But that brings him to his next point. “What about the fact that I’m not the boy you’d want me to be? Or rather… nothing at all?” 

Paula hums in response. “I could ask you the same thing. I’m not the girl you’d want me to be.” 

“Huh?” 

Paula looks away. “I’ve never told anyone this, but…” She swallows, grins and bears it. “For the past year, I've questioned myself the same as you have. I’m aware that if I told anyone, they’d push me away in a heartbeat. But you… you’re different. I know you’d do well with this information.” 

Ness gazes at her in astonishment. It’s not a _bad_ reaction, though Paula can’t tell. “So you’re like me?”

Paula nods, and Ness heaves a relieved sigh. 

“Well, you _are_ the girl I want in my life! And I wouldn’t have it any other way!!” Ness doesn’t think he’d want to be with _anyone else_ besides her, though he’s not sure if he conveyed his message well enough. But when he notices the look on Paula’s face, all of his doubts wash away in an instant.

“Then accept that you’re the person I want to be with, boy or not.” Paula says. “Sometimes you have to accept yourself, no matter what anyone says.”

Ness is close to crying now, but he holds his tears back. Instead, he extends his arms, and Paula accepts the embrace. She buries her face in Ness’ shoulder blade, glad that she was able to _finally_ get it out, after keeping it in for so long.

“Thanks, Paula…” Ness mumbles into her ear. 

“Not a problem,” Paula says, happily in a state of vulnerability. “Thanks for supporting me too. I knew I could trust you with that.” 

They break away, and Paula clears her throat. They may have had a heart to heart moment right there, but she still has more to say. Something that Ness might not accept, but she’s willing to give it a try. 

“As long as I accept myself for something I can’t control,” Paula continues, “you’ll have to accept yourself too. Is that alright with you?” It’s the only rule she can place in this relationship.

Ness gulps down the bitterness that burns his throat right then. It’s a hard and winding road, but for Paula, he’s willing to take it. His asexuality shapes his thoughts and experiences, so he can’t push part of his identity away just like that. 

“Yeah,” Ness says quietly. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Paula smiles. “I’m glad.”

The silence is inviting, comforting, which could only mean that they’re willing to accept each other into their lives, regardless of how they feel about themselves. But that’s okay, because they can work with that. Paula can lead Ness to the path of acceptance, and together, they can know the merits of what makes them valid in this world, that the world is on their side.. 

And she’s determined to get there as much as Ness is.

**Author's Note:**

> so i was talkin to my qpp abt nesspaula and i was telling her my gender/sexuality headcanons for them (nonbinary ness and trans girl paula, babey!!) and somehow i got the motivation to write this?? i dunno but i thank her for all my writing endeavours fjdkfj i've been meaning to write something like this for a long time, and i can kinda relate to ness when it comes to my own feelings of being asexual, tho prolly not to this extent (i've had similar thoughts before, tho). but then again, he /is/ the character i self project on the most so uhh


End file.
